VBAC Memories Part VI

Thank you, Amber, for sharing your heartfelt thoughts and emotions in this continuing series of VBAC memories!


What were/are your fears?

My main fear was that I would have another C-Section.  I can’t say that I was fearless- however, I was able to block that out of my mind until I had to have the 2nd C-section.

How are you/could you cope with your fears?

I coped with my fear by reading other birth stories, both good and bad.  It helped to give me perspective. 

As a doula, what can I do to help the woman who wants a VBAC?

I think that you are fabulous.  I say insist that she stays informed and knows the truth about labor/delivery/C-sections.  You did a great job making sure that I was an informed mom (ie. let’s try to avoid induction, keep moving- no matter what).  I think that’s a big deal.  There are so many women that think they should get induced instead of going into labor. 

I would also encourage the women to have a “happy plan” in the case of a successful VBAC or in the case of an attempted VBAC turned emergency C-Sections.  I think that a happy plan is important because you have to make peace with yourself, good or bad.  I think women should create their own happy plan.  Ideally, it will include having a healthy baby, but maybe it will be to just stay focused on making the best of the experience.  I’m not sure that anybody “enjoys” a C-section, but maybe I should have refocused my emotions and focused on the experience…  I’m not sure. 

What I know now is that 2 years postpartum, I realize that the goal was a “healthy baby” when I was getting the C-Section- I was disappointed and my feelings were hurt. Within an hour, my VBAC dreams were crushed.  I was absolutely happy that I did have a healthy baby, but I wish I had been happy with myself as well. 

I remember when Tanya told me that my chance was about 20% that I would successfully have a VBAC.  So, I would encourage them to not be terribly disappointed if it doesn’t happen.  So many things happened after the C-Section, I really try not to think about it.  I suppose that that’s why it has taken me 2 years to process my emotions:(. 


You are a beautiful woman, you had a beautiful labor, you had a beautiful birth, and you have two beautiful children. Please never doubt these things!!!

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